Glasgow Diaries Part (8) VIII: Fading Love

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August 2019: By this time my masters classes were going great and I was in a great place mentally. I made some amazing new friends and did some traveling around Europe during this time. Even though I really wanted Mahdee to join me on these trips, he was usually busy with work and his sports classes, which was unfortunate. However, my birthday was approaching towards the end of August and with a little push from myself, I was able to convince Mahdee to go on a couples trip with me to England. I remember being so excited to celebrate my birthday with Mahdee since in 2018, I wasn't able to celebrate my birthday with him. 

September 2019- December 2019: This is where things start to get a little shaky. Up until this point, I was blindly in love with Mahdee and honestly it was great. Like any other relationship, our relationship wasn't perfect, we still had some arguments along the way but we would always forgive and forget and moved on quickly from them, we never held grudges against each other, which I think was so important. I remember we never really could be mad at each other for more than a few hours. 

However, as a girl in love, I couldn't help but to feel that sometimes Mahdee wasn't the best at being affectionate and didn't really care about certain things as much as I did, especially when it came to being in a relationship and making me feel really great. Throughout my life I had always been around loving couples like my parents and friends and sometimes wished that Mahdee would be more affectionate and take initiative in the relationship. 

I spoke to him about these things and he would follow through with them the next week but after a few days, it felt like we were back to square one again. These were definitely red flags that I had ignored until this point, which to be honest, I wish I didn't take as lightly as I did. I made him feel like he was the only man in the world but I was his biggest secret and he didn't make me feel like I was a priority in his life. 

I remember around this time Mahdee came over to my apartment one evening and mentioned that we should only start meeting twice a week. He said that by meeting often, it would just make it harder for the both of us in the end, when it would be time for me to move back to America. I, of course was really upset because all I wanted to do was spend more time with him, not less time. It didn't make any sense to me knowing that we had limited time together and he just wanted to make it even more limited. I really wanted to say no but I agreed because if he was bringing this up that meant it was what he wanted, so I agreed and we only started meeting up two times a week. I hated it, I hated being on a schedule with him, it just felt so unnatural. I remember having a conversation with Mahdee in the beginning of our relationship about making sure our relationship didn't feel like a job, but what I feared was happening, it was starting to feel like a job, we were on a timed schedule. I didn't like it but little did I know the worst was yet to come.

Glasgow Diaries Part IX: Heartbreak 

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