Moving On

 August 2020: I had moved back to America and started my new job at the end of August 2020. Mahdee and I were still texting everyday. Although we weren't together we still missed each other. I knew that continuing to text everyday wasn't the best idea but, it was difficult to break a habit that was two and a half years in the making. 

September to December 2020: Having this time apart from Mahdee gave me an opportunity to fully open my eyes and think back to how our relationship was not a "typical" relationship. Around this time, it was quite apparent that Mahdee wished that the relationship didn't end. He started showering me with amazing words and said how he still thought about me everyday. This is where nothing made sense to me, I needed him to say all of these sweet things to me while we were still together, what was the point of saying all of these things now? I didn't understand it, and this is where I sort of resented Mahdee and became petty. I started posted things on social media that were directed towards him, about how no one should take anyone for granted etc. It wasn't the best approach but I really wanted to hate him.

Mahdee became regretful and realized his mistakes eventually. He asked me once again if I can try and convince my parents to let us be together. But this time I made the decision on my own to not go down that road again. I refused to give him another chance and instead told him that we can try and maintain a good friendship instead. It work out fine for a few weeks but then we would start having little arguments here and there because I wasn't changing my decision about giving him a second chance and he just didn't want to settle for that answer. We would stop all communication for a week only to go back to texting almost every day. It was all getting exhausting, because around this time I was going on various dates with other people to try and forget Mahdee, but it was impossible to forget him since we were texting almost everyday. 

At the end of February 2021, I finally took a stand to let Mahdee know that the constant communication between us was actually making it harder for me to move on. That morning I told Mahdee, that I was going to delete all the pictures, videos, voice notes and almost three years worth of text messages between him and I. I also told him that we should stop all communication between us. He didn't respond much to it, but I stuck to my word and deleted everything, it was very difficult because all of those things were sentimental to both of us, but it had to be done in order for me to completely move on. 

March 2021: About two weeks went by and Mahdee and I hadn't communicated until he texted me one day in March telling me that he finally properly told his parents about me. It took him a very long time to come clean to his parents about us, where as my parents knew about Mahdee and I since the first year we had met. I never asked Mahdee to tell his parents about me and his mom only knew some things about us. But him finally telling his parents about us, was suppose to feel like a huge deal, but honestly it didn't. It hardly affected me in any way. I was happy that Mahdee told his parents about us but it really didn't make a difference to me. This the the moment when I knew that I had finally moved on. Mahdee and I still text every now and then and we are on friendly terms. We keep each other updated about important moments in our lives. I am happy and content with everything now and I believe so is he. Throughout all of this, I think we've both grown so much and it was all a blessing in disguise.